Spending my day today not knowing what to do with myself. Just feeling frustrated and depressed. Been chatting with friends and just like before ... all of them ask me to leave N ... the sooner the better. :(
I really shud concentrate on Des who loves me and wants me to be his boyfriend. There will be a future with Des cos he loves me ... and i do like him too.
Last night he said he wants to send me a ring. WOW! That's a big step. I like that idea. I just hope that he is sincere with me. I'm just scared. :(
Going back home for lunch today somehow made me feel a bit better. Mum is still not that ok ... Dad is still having pain on his penis. :( I won't leave them. If god really loves me, he will have to show me that my love for my parents does pay off in the end.
I really want to cry!! :( Why did M leave me? Why did G leave me years ago?? :( Even B gave up on me too. :(((((((((((((((((( Are they all not good enough for me? Or am i not good enough for them? Whatever i tried, N would not even get moved by my kindness and love. i feel like such a failure. :(
Wish there is someone out there for me. I m getting older. I really don wish to die alone. :(
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